The Five Stages of a TPM Believer’s Journey

To the members of the new weekly drama producing church (let’s admit, this is, sadly, quite entertaining isn’t it?),

You are probably all confused, angry, upset, still unbelieving etc. The list goes on. Why?

Because you are experiencing grieving whether you like it or not. Leaving this cult, especially if you were born and bred in it, or have been in it for many years, is akin to experiencing the death of someone very close and important to you. Let me walk you through all these stages.

Stage 1 – Denial

IT IS NOT TRUE!! HOW DARE YOU TOUCH THE LORD’S ANNOINTED!!! ALL THIS EVIDENCE IS FARBICATED AGAINST THE SERVANTS OF GOD!!! THE LORD WILL STRIKE YOU FOR THIS!!!!!  YOU ARE THE ANTICHRIST AND TRYING TO BRING DOWN GOD’S ONE TRUE CHURCH!!!!

Face it, you did this. You told these same things to yourself, to your family members and cursed and swore at those who merely presented the truth to you in love. You denied all evidence and were in denial to yourself that hey, these things might actually be true? It probably took a good few weeks for more things to unfold before you even considered the possibility that you could be wrong.

Before you engulf yourself with guilt looking back, don’t be too hard on yourself, it happens to everyone.

Stage 2 – Anger

HOW DARE THEY BREAK OUR TRUST?!!! WE PUT MONEY IN THIS CHURCH!!! THEY ARE SERVANTS OF GOD YET DO DESPICABLE THINGS LIKE THIS??? AND THEY CONDEMN US WHEN WE SIN???  WE MUST CONFRONT THEM!!!!!

Now is where you start going crazy when you realize hey, it could be true and wanting to set things right. You show up at the church doorstep demanding to speak to various people, or you keep calling the SOG phones demanding an explanation etc. You start calling up your friends within the church and vent out your frustrations, exchange bad advice about it etc. Oh, did I mention, this is also the stage where the church and its stakeholders start doing damage control. News, videos, audio recordings, messages spread like wildfire over WhatsApp. Everyone wants to weigh in their opinion on the matter, both correct and fake and exaggerated information also makes its rounds at this stage because we all know how angry people love embellishing things.

You start to see the church polarizing, people taking sides. And yes, you, my dear SG TPM member, took a side too in anger, didn’t you?

Stage – 3 Bargaining

Now the anger and adrenaline have died down and you weigh your options. Familial bonds and feeling take over and kick in.  And yes you do have familial bonds to the organization, you grew up there, you spent years there, they are like family to you, your life revolves around the church (and not necessarily around Christ) and you’re like “how do I fix this and try to help?”

From the goodness of your heart (or what you believe is good) you wade back into the battlefield. You start striking bargains with key people. This is a move of self-preservation and power preservation. Some choose to take sides with whoever is more powerful, some choose to take sides with who they believe is right, some take sides so that they can try to take over. Whatever the reason, bargains and deals are made, alliances are made, promises are made, and in the hopes to fix things and move forward in what you believe is the right direction.

But deep down, you are just trying to hold on to the shattered pieces, trying to make sense of it, desperate to put broken pieces together again and deluding yourself that things will go back to normal after this saga is over. 

Stage 4 – Depression

More weeks pass, more drama unfolds and now, you my dear sister and brother of SG TPM, finally come to a realization that you’re no longer in control, you are lost and confused, you are hurt and angry, your trust was broken by the very SOG who condemned you for so many things, and yet lived immoral and lavish lives behind your back. The very people who claimed to be chosen by God for a sanctified and consecrated life betrayed your trust in whom dear reader, YOU put your trust in, instead of putting your trust in God, you put in man, who will ALWAYS fail. You were fed lies, you partook of juicy gossip, you realized that you never stood up for what is right in the church, especially when you see discrimination, favoritism (we all know if you give more money, SOG prays extra hard for you right?). You were part of the problem too.

You take a good hard look at your life, you see your children growing up angry, being denied many things because ‘the church says so‘ and they then leave the right path and wander away from the ways of God. Can you blame them? They see your hypocrisy. You relationship with your children is toxic and almost non-existent and you don’t know what to do anymore.

You look at your marriage, and you see a horrible miserable marriage because the SOG loves inserting themselves in between your marriage. You are always arguing with your spouse, there is no joy in your marriage. Is that biblical? There’s only room for three, you, your spouse and God. After that it gets pretty crowded.

You look at your so called friends in church who love you because the SOG love you or because you have money. But once you get on the bad side of the SOG, they suddenly all stop talking to you. Are they truly your friends? You start to realize that what you thought was the church was nothing but a political circus playground for power plays. You look at your old parents, who’ve been in the church for years, the joy of the Lord is not in them. Instead, they are critical and quick to judge and believe that only through the SOG you can get a ticket into heaven. They are miserable and frankly no one likes them.

Now you look at yourself. The forced morning prayers at 4:00 AM as a child, and if you fell asleep while praying they pinch you or smack you awake. You look at the guilt you went through when you decided you wanted to get married and the SOG railed against you saying that you loved a man more than God and you want a worldly life instead of serving God the “SOG WAY”. You still feel that guilt and that you can only come to God through the works you do.

Look at yourself, look at your heart. You are NOT happy, you are NOT fulfilled.

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

Psalm 16:11

You realize, you’re not on the path of life, you’re on the path of eternal spiritual death. Because if you were on the path of life, you will find fullness of joy in the presence of God.

I can tell you there are many spirits in that building in Tai Gin Road, but the Spirit of God is not one of them.

You withdraw to yourself and be quiet, you stay away from the church for a while (and hey, covid did help you achieve that too).

You fall into depression.

Stage 5 – Acceptance

A good chunk of time has passed by and now you have to make a decision. Stay, or leave?

While it has only 2 options and most people would say, that’s a pretty easy decision, this tears you up inside. To leave everything you’ve ever known, all the people that you’ve chosen to surround with (because this cult makes you isolate yourself from people who are not from the church), to even possibly leaving your extended family behind who are die hard soldiers of this church, it’s a very painful and difficult decision. You also know that you will be ostracized by people and you will hear some wonderful stories embellished with false reasons about why you left ranging from “oh that person left because they couldn’t live up to the standard of God and wanted to follow the world” to things like “oh that person has been demon possessed and fallen into sin”.

But my brother and sister, I urge you to read the words of Christ:

Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ

Gal 1:10

Whose approval do you want? God’s approval, or man’s approval?

Today you stand at a crossroads, the narrow way leading to life and to Christ. MAKE THE DECISION. You never know if you will have that chance again, life is unpredictable. You’re here today and gone the next, which you should know by now from the number of SOG deaths that we see on a regular basis. You’re scared, you don’t know where to go. You don’t really know much about life outside actually. But the God I serve promised to walk with you through this. I beg you, pick up your bible and read. Look at the previous articles on this site to give you a good foundation to correct the false theology that was embedded into you. READ IT FOR YOURSELF, STUDY IT. Be like the Bereans. You took what the SOG said wholesale, you never examined scripture for yourself.

Now the Berean Jews were of more noble character than those in Thessalonica, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true.

Acts 17:11

Visit other assemblies, have a look around. You need to throw away the idea that only through TPM can you get to heaven, God has people EVERYWHERE. You yourself know that there is one particular church a lot of TPM members secretly go to after service is over in Tai Gin. Think to yourself, why are they there?

Also, examine your salvation. Do you believe you are saved just because you are in TPM or do you believe the gospel of Christ? Because many people I know from there believe they are saved because they come from that church. When I went back for someone’s funeral someone came straight up to us and said we have lost our salvation because we left TPM. If you believe this, I have to tell you, you are not truly saved at all. You believe in an organization, not in Jesus Christ.

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

John 14:6

TPM teaches TPM is the way the truth and the life, no one comes to God except through them.

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.

Eph 2:8-9

AND THERE IS SALVATION IN NO ONE ELSE, FOR THERE IS NO OTHER NAME UNDER HEAVEN GIVEN AMONG MEN BY WHICH WE MUST BE SAVED.”

Acts 4:12

There is nothing you can do to earn salvation. All that hype about “oh, if you join the ministry God will save you etc” is all totally blasphemous and ridiculous. And we all know how they love boasting about their ‘works’. By now from all this drama, you should know the true colors. Accept it in faith, God paid the price for you so that you may have eternal life. He took His wrath upon himself so that you can live.

If you truly are a child of God, your life will show it.

You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles?

Matt 7:16

You’ve seen the fruit TPM bears. You’ve seen the fruit, or lack of rather, of your own life while you were there. Jesus can change you as a person, and you can become a true follower of Christ.

If fear stops you from leaving, remember this:

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.

1 John 4:18

God’s perfect love, His grace and His strength is MORE THAN ENOUGH for you to overcome this and walk out into a new life. If you fear man, more than you fear God, then question in whom you have placed your faith in.

I know how you feel, I’ve watched my entire family go through this, this is not just a bunch of words, but I speak from experience. If you need help or you want someone to talk to, or if you unsure, you can get in touch with me or you can just leave a comment below. There are so many brothers and sisters here from all over the world on this site who are more than ready to encourage you and help you come out of this cult. They have all gone through what you are going through and they have all made that decision which you are pondering upon today.

If you are an SOG and by some miracle you reading this (yes I heard about the confiscation of all of your personal devices to prevent you from communicating, especially the sister’s side) and you want to leave but have nowhere to go, send us a message, leave a comment etc, and I will do all I can to help you out.

I leave you with this verse:

And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.

Joshua 24:15

Choose this day whom you will serve.